Still I Cry

Still I Cry

Alone I sit and contemplate
Continue living in this state
Time goes by where does it go
Today my past of lost tomorrows

Look deep within and you will find
This place I’m trapped it’s called my mind
On brown skin is the story inked
My fucked up life what do you think

For me it seems it is this way
Lost in the past is where I stay
Days don’t change forever the same
Finding myself the one to blame

Look deep inside what can you tell
My life you see a living hell
Done on this earth as in heaven
Screams in silence unforgiven

My Eulogy

My Eulogy

To want what I have
You cannot keep
Into my darkness
You must go deep

Have you the courage
Have you the strength
To walk this lone path
To the end of its length

It does to me come
Thoughts of suicide
I keep to myself
This demon I hide

Sometimes I wonder
And it makes me cry
Will I not make it
Is this my goodbye

Having To Be Me

Having To Be Me

Everyday I wake will it be like the last
Sometimes I wonder, so lost in the past
My future was bright I could see it so clear
Lost in my darkness no longer it’s near

How long will this last is the question I ponder
Wasting my life going deeper and under
Can’t find the answers to questions I seek
Where’s life’s destiny I’ve been longing to meet

Reminded of failure while I sit here and cry
Why do I bother why get up and try
Being a loser is all I can see
It really sucks having to live with me

Having been told I am smart and real gifted
Doesn’t even matter if I don’t see self lifted
Being so burdened, this demon I bear
Truth be told I no longer even care

Ghost in the Mist

Ghost in the Mist

How many times have I been here before
Inside my mind’s prison I want this no more
This silent blind rage for so long have I known
These demons dark grown that now have I sown

In fantasy dreamt eternal escape
Trapped by life’s lies have I taken death’s bait
Days full of sorrow where no light will shine
Screams in loud silence until all end of time

Battle with demons at war for my soul
Sooner or later, my final last blow
Pain in my heart suffer deep to the core
Wonder I do what is it all for

Tired and bloodied, labored and worn
Cursing the blending in which I was born
Ghosts in the mist have I now told my all
Slowly still drifting forever I fall

Bridge Night Blues

Bridge Night Blues

On this gloomy bridge so alone do I sit
Sinking slowly into this bottomless pit
The water cold, dark, lovely and clear
Pulling me closer calling me to be near

Looking into the darkened black sky
Wanting so much to be free and fly high
So heavy in heart does all this pain weigh
Longing release from all this some day

This sadness inside that is torture I bear
No longer I want or even have care
Still on this bridge in the dark do I sit
Staring forever into this bottomless pit

But before you do frown, fret, and I scare
Look closely, this life I barely just fare
These dark shadowed nights and days go through
With my lonely fucked up bridge night blues

Depths of Depression

Depths of Depression

Seems to me heaven’s far away
Cry in the darkness where I lay
Broken down I cannot stand
No one around to hold my hand

Looking back do I ponder
Where it’s gone still I wonder
Looking forward what I see
Expectations of what should be

Try I do with all my might
Still I cannot get it right
So I cry heart full of sorrow
All that could be come tomorrow

As I sit and write this down
Still my face it wears a frown
All this heartache would you take
Hope someday I will not break

Painfully and I Suffer (the Remix)

Painfully and I Suffer (the Remix)

Nestled in the Darkness deep
Pain and Suffer
Do I keep
Part of me
For much too long
No longer now
Be They Wrong

These two now
My blood has fed
Write with them
With blood red
In pen
And black
On brown skin

Crazy Insults and insane
No ‘body round
For me to blame
How it’s Fucked Up
I feel inside
Pain and Suffer
Still I hide

Every day
I fight the fear
In my heart
Cuz they
Intimate Near

Locked Away
They Stay
Nestled dark near